Kalar's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[WWII Stalingrad]

Ah yes, Leningrad. Anyone who payed attention in history class knows it was about an American with a BAR killing hordes of cloned Russians.

And good job ripping Reznov right out of World at War for the intro screen, mad props on that. Even the sounds in this historically inaccurate, boring mess of a game are ripped right out of Call of Duty.

Verdict: 0/5, 1/10. Just awful.

[Brave Witch]

It's promising. The artwork, soundtrack, and presentation are all great. Problem is, the gameplay is very slow and unoriginal. Could use upgrades, different power ups, enemy variety and an actual goal would all be nice.

It just doesn't feel like a complete game in its present state, but something about the theme is just damned cool so...

Verdict: 3/5, 6/10.

[Curious Clarissa]

Sorry, but it's not good.

The music and art are great but the naming of the items is nutty. Some items are referred to as incorrect shades or even colors. Some of them have strange names like "Clubbing" for Drumsticks? Why not just call them Drumsticks?! Some items have outright false or misleading names. There's even an item in one of the levels called AssetItem2. Yeah, AssetItem2. I'm sure most 11 year old girls know exactly what that looks like.

I'm usually not hard on these types of games. I get their target audience and what they are trying to be, so I usually rate 3/5 or 4/5 but this is one of the few I've seen with such a huge flaw. This game clearly was not tested.

Verdict: 4/10, 2/5

[Headbanging Hero: Metal]

Great concept and presentation but this game is killed by several fatal flaws:

1.) It's too damned easy. Hitting a key when there is nothing there does not penalize you in any way, so you can just button mash the entire time.

2.) If losing is possible, I haven't found out how. There's no crowd to boo you off stage if you fuck up.

3.) The gameplay is really stale without a star power mechanic. It's just hitting the same notes with no reward other than getting that little (useless) number in the top right up.

4.) The characters are drawn really well and their idle animations are nice to look at, but when you hit keys they suddenly start spazzing out. The directional animations are really choppy and distracting. It just looks ugly.

5.) Way too many sections that require "Hit up/down over and over" or "hit the keys counter-clockwise". Even "hit the keys in the shape of a lying eight". Hit directional keys in the shape of a lying fucking eight? That a joke? These sections are straining on the fingers, boring, too long, and some songs use them for 90% of the play time.

To be fair, the game does have some good to it. The presentation and artwork are nice. The characters are very well drawn, and the music is good. The gameplay itself is core here though, and it just has way too many flaws for me to recommend.

Verdict: 5/10, 2/5.

[Beat Universe]

Above average rhythm game. Pretty damned fun but hard as hell too.

I checked and even the game creator doesn't have all the medals! I'm ranked 1770/52521 and I can't get more than 24 stars. I'm guessing the other 50,000 people just gave when they saw the first level because getting into the top 10% medal was a cake walk.

Also, I'm pretty sure the # of stars you get is actually based on the number of perfect notes you hit, not your overall score. So try to focus on hitting perfect notes and don't pay attention to the multiplier.

And as somebody below me said, right click for the secret achievement.

Verdict: 4/5, 9/10

ZEGMAN responds:

Thanks man
You're right, the stars are based on hidden points you get when you hit the notes, perfect is 5 points, good is 3, ok is 2, bad is 1.
Then at the end of the songs, the hidden score determines your stars.

[i saw her standing there]

Style points through the roof! Such simple graphics and gameplay, but the stylistic story and music really grab ahold of your heart and don't let go. This game is more "human" than anything I've played on this site. Bravo, sir.

As a suggestion, I'd like to see the sequel offer more challenge, especially in the later levels. The only challenge here comes from the Xtreme mode, which is so chaotic in the number and placement of the zombies that it boils down more to luck and perseverance than anything.

Verdict: Fantastic. 9/10.

[Tiny Island Adventure]

Solid platformer that doesn't strive to reinvent anything, but is enjoyable enough. It was quite short and it was definitely not "Nintendo Hard". It was quite easy to beat, TBH.

As an aside, the main character reminds me of a female Baird from Gears of War.

Verdict: 6/10.

[Straight Bullyism]

Hahaha, self-esteem meter naturally decreases for a bully unless he fights or smokes.

Works as a game mechanic and works as social commentary. My hat is off to you, sir.

Game itself was interesting, but got stale around level 3 because it was basically the same shit over and over. Saying that, I'd play part 4 if you ever get around to it.

[Palisade Guardian 3 Beta4]

Alright for a cheesy little game, but it loses its value fast at around South Carolina (level 30) because the only viable tactic becomes bazooka and power up spam.

Paying money for the improved power ups is fine and well, since its essentially a 'bonus' for donating. I take issue to paying for the lives though, that seems sleezy. Yes, I know you can wait for the lives but that's incredibly boring.

Paying for a top tier weapon like a minigun would've been a better idea IMO, and scrap the lives altogether.

ErebosGames responds:

Thanks for the review! I especially appreciate your feedback on purchasing power-ups vs lives. I also like the idea of a top tier weapon.

[Madness: Project Nexus (Classic)]

This review will be from an Arena perspective only.

First: Two big issues that absolutely need fixing!

1.) Saving does not work (causing all progress to be lost). I've even tried downloading the game and it still does not always save properly.
2.) The wave does not properly end in the early to mid 30's (happened to me at 33, others are saying 36).

Now, with those two things out of the way, let me say that the gameplay here is by far the best I've ever experienced in a flash game. Totally blew me away with the character customization, weapons, teammates and sheer awesomeness of the bullet system. However, a few suggestions:

1.) Boost the health of the mook enemies in later levels. One shot to the head with any caliber killing them is fine early on but it's laughably easy with high tier weapons like the M249 SAW. Speaking of which, on to the next point...

2.) Rifles (particularly the M249) totally blow all the other weapons away. Its boring in the mid-late levels that the best combo is just two M249's. Just one M249 makes you a one-man army. I did not see the need for teammates when I had this weapon, it makes the game far too easy. Tone down the M249 to 100 rounds and give it a serious range/rate of fire nerf. Maybe even make it slow your movement down.

3.) Other weapons suck ass later. Why bother maxing out any weapon skill besides the Rifle? There's literally no point. Handguns need to be better sidearms. Make the fast switch perk in Dexterity applicable only to Handguns and give them a late/final perk that gives unlimited magazines to make up for their pitiful performance (even at level 30!). SMGs just feel like crappy rifles and need a boost. Shotguns are laughably sad, I don't even know how you'd fix them. They aren't even competitive with handguns.

Don't get me wrong. Fantastically amazing game, but it gets really stale after level 15+ because you just grab an M249 and breeze through the rest of the game. I'd like more options and more balanced weapon playstyles than just Derp Rifle -> Machine Gun -> ??? -> Profit.